


So Much for a Fun Night

by RealityXIllusion



Category: Rent
Genre: Angst, Drunken Shenanigans, F/F, F/M, Gen, Hints of abuse, If triggered please don't read, Mentions of Character Death, Mentions of HIV, Mentions of Suicide, Misunderstandings, Other, Protectiveness, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Yelling, completed work, cursing, hints at bad childhood, suicidal!Mark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-30
Updated: 2017-09-30
Packaged: 2019-01-07 01:55:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12223374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RealityXIllusion/pseuds/RealityXIllusion
Summary: It was Maureen's suggestion that they all meet at Roger and Mark's place to get 'drunk off their asses', and it's during a game of truth or dare that an unsettling truth about Mark is revealed by none other than drunk Mark himself.





	So Much for a Fun Night

**Author's Note:**

> National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 Please don't hesitate to call!  
> Takes place before Angel gets sick or dies.

The night started out great. Everyone came over to the loft, each bringing their own preferred drink, they were laughing, joking around and overall having a good time. Then they started played truth or dare, and by the eighth round Mark was the drunkest out of all of them having had drinks forced into his hand from practically everyone when they noticed he wasn't drinking anything.  
It was during the eighth round when Mark picked dare that Angel dared him to tell them one thing about him none of them knew.  
It was also the round Mark told them that he was suicidal.  
Shocked silence greeted that revelation.  
"You...you're what?" Mimi asked after the tense silence dragged past the two minute mark.  
"Suicidal~" Mark sang and then began humming under his breath.  
"Pookie that's not funny." Maureen said her old nickname for Mark slipping out.  
"I'm funny!" Mark stuck his tongue out at her, "But I'm telling the truth, Angel said to!"  
"So you're really..." Angel trailed off and bit his lip.  
Mark stared at them all in confusion before saying, "You don't believe me?"  
"It's just...why...why would you...?" Joanne shook her head unsure how to continue.  
"Mark." Collins said snapping Mark out of whatever daze he was just in. Once he had Mark's attention Collins continued like stating a fact, "You're suicidal."  
Mark nodded grinning drunkenly at them before pulling up both his long sleeves revealing scars up and down his arms, varying in length and width.  
One by one they all gasped and let out small sounds of distress. But only Roger's resembled that of a dying puppy.  
Mark ignored all of them and began tracing each and every scar he could see almost as if memorized.  
"Mark."  
"Mark?"  
"Marky?"  
Realizing how none of them were getting any response and feeling more then a little bit disturbed by how his best friend was acting Roger yell out Marks name startling him so badly Mark almost knocked over the Vodka bottle in front of him.  
"ROGER!" Mark yelled back happily.  
"This isn't a fucking game." Roger said clenching his fists.  
"Really? I thought we were playing truth or dare?"  
"Why would you do that?" Roger asked angrily.  
"Do what?" Mark blinked, "Try to kill myself? Cause I wanna."  
Mark giggled slightly, "What if I filmed it? I wonder if anyone would ever find it, hey that could be my note! People leave notes when they kill themselves apparently. It's stupid. Why leave a note? It'll just make you second guess everything."  
"W-What?" Angel choked out, a hand coming up to cover his mouth.  
"Why the hell do you wanna die so fucking badly?!" Roger yelled lunging to his feet.  
Mark smiled at them, an emotionless fake smile, but his blank eyes never left Roger's. "I think the better question is why would I want to live?"  
"Even after what happened with April...You're just gonna sit there and tell me you want to kill yourself!"  
"Roger calm down." Mimi said reaching out to touch his shoulder but was quickly shrugged off.  
Almost everyone was crying.  
Everyone but Roger and Mark.  
Mark scoffed slurring slightly, "A'ril was a h-hypo-hypocrite."  
"Excuse me?" Roger seethed stepping closer until he was practically towering over Mark and ignoring everyone telling him that Mark was drunk and didn't know what he was saying and for him to calm down.  
"When she found out she kept telling me I wasn't allowed to kill myself then the next day I find her in the bathroom with her wrists slit? I call that a h-hypocrite Rog."  
Roger stumbled back, away from Mark in silence.  
"Y-You..." Roger tried to swallow around the lump that was lodged in his throat. Collins it seemed knew exactly what Roger was trying to say and finished the sentence for him,  
"You've wanted to kill yourself for that long?"  
Mark surprised them all by scrambling to get to his feet until he was standing, and swaying due to how much he's had to drink. Mark flung his arms out to the side in a grand gesture and said cheerfully, "Here we have standing in the loft, one Mark Cohen! A suicidal fuck who's been cutting since 14 but has wanted to die for sooooooooo much longer!"  
"Fourteen?" Collins whispered horrified.  
"Stop it." Roger muttered shakenly, just as Mimi and Angel started honest to god sobbing, with the others not far behind.  
Mark tilted his head to the side in confusion, "What's wrong?"  
"You honestly expect to say all of that and for us to not get upset?!" Maureen screamed angrily.  
"Mo..." Joanne tightened her grip on her girlfriends waist to keep her for doing something stupid.  
"Why're you sad over something I'm not sad about?"  
"Well you should be!"  
"WHY?!" Mark screamed startling all of them, "Why the actual fuck should I be upset about something I've wanted for years? Just because you are? Mo you got Jo, Rog you have Mimi and Collins you have Angel! Now's the perfect time to die! You each have someone there for you and Rog! Mimi can remind you to take your AZT! Mo, you and Jo love each other same with you two," Mark pointed to Angel and Collins, "And you all have each other! I don't need to be here anymore, so why am I?"  
"Because you're my fucking brother!" Roger screamed just as loudly, his voice cracking due to trying so hard not to cry, "You think we don't need you? Could you be anymore fucking stupid you asshole! We're family! We'll always need you!"  
Mark said nothing but stared at them all sadly.  
"What?" Roger snapped.  
Mark shook his head and turned around to walk away.  
"Where are you going?" Mimi asking panicking slightly the closer Mark got towards the door,  
"For a walk."  
"Like hell you are!" Roger ran in front of Mark, blocking him from getting to the door.  
"Move." Mark muttered poking Roger in the shoulder, which would've been funny had it been any other situation but this.  
"No." Roger smacked Mark's hand away, "You're not going out."  
"You're not my dad, I can leave whenever I want Rog."  
Maureen snuck up behind Mark and pulled him into a tight hug.  
"What're you doing?" Mark tilted his head back to look at Maureen who said nothing but held him tighter, he looked back in front of him when Roger began hugging him as well. Slowly the others all got up and joined the hug as well. And that's where they all stayed, in one huge group hug where the eventually slid down onto the floor with Mark passing out in the middle of all of them.

**Author's Note:**

> National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 Please don't hesitate to call!


End file.
